Tag: personal journey (page 1 of 2)

Craft a Life of Projects

Have you ever thought about your life as linear or seen yourself as a passive actor in your own life? Have you ever wondered the meaning behind a dark time in your life?

These questions occurred to me and I found that looking at my life with the eyes of a creator, of a project person, made me feel more empowered. Whether you want to keep things interesting, you want to keep learning, or you want to create freedom, then I encourage you to craft a life of projects.

I work best with a project format. It helps me focus and be present and fully experience something, a time in my life or a specific event. I always have something going on that I manage at my own pace. I don’t have to commit to it for an indeterminate period. I am challenged, I learn and I accomplish. Then, I get to change it up. I get to move on or walk away when things do not serve or honour me. It’s a truly freeing and mindful way to approach my life.

Although I have habits and a semblance of a routine, I do not do well without change. I need it. I expect it. Most likely because it happens anyway. But I crave the kind of change that stimulates my spirit. That’s also why, for instance, my career history as a Gen Y contractor has worked to my advantage. I got to sample many jobs and experiences and know myself better.

In my twenties, I look back to many projects that highlighted lessons; my university degree versus learning, my communications career versus my calling, my relationships (some breakups, some amazing friendships, and mending family ties) and my (holistic) health.

University and journalism were my first introductions to the working world. I learned about fitting in and standing out, working hard and sometimes not getting rewarded or recognized. I learned about knowledge and wisdom, excitement and disappointment. I learned the difference between ability, experience and passion.

On a personal level, I’ve reconnected with inner longings, such as dance (vitality), reiki (service) and writing. For a while, I created the “swing dance” project in my life when I focused on learning partnership and competing. I also had my “health intervention” project; a time in my life when I was sick and burned out and decided to teach myself how to care for my health through yoga, food, rest and boundaries. Now, I’m working on my “setting sail for my purpose” project.  It’s a big scary adventure and I don’t know every wave, storm or shore, but it’s a journey I’m on. It started with this blog.

“I found that looking at my life with the eyes of a creator, of a project person, empowered me.” ― Bright Star Mercedes   brightstarwoman.com/blog

Our lives take different forms depending on our perspective.  There is a season for everything and a thing for every season. If we start appreciating where we are, which season we’re in, or the project we’re exploring if you will, then we can appreciate the true beauty of the life we’re living. If you see your life as the sum of all its incredible moments, its many seasons and its varied projects, you can appreciate change as much as being still. You start to understand each season’s purpose and you feel successful; this life is yours, every step of the way.

Seeing our lives as meaningful projects that teach us, that stimulate us, that we enjoy, helps us get in synch with nature’s cycles. We can co-create wonderful experiences and choose to learn valuable lessons by treating our lives as our unique work of art, composed of our many creative projects.

How have “projects” made your life more exciting or meaningful to you? Is there an unpleasant experience you could treat as a project to learn from?


There’s a word that kept resurfacing in the past few months and I’ve decided to pay attention. The idea of “unbecoming” has been coming to me in internet quotes, books I’ve read, conversations I’ve had. Although, the expression has been adopted in a pejorative way to mean unflattering, it stuck.

Unbecoming is defined as:

: not attractive : not becoming

: not appropriate or acceptable for a person in a particular job or position

What if “unbecoming” was the key to our happiness?

What if unbecoming was the gateway to inner peace?

I think it is. Here’s how I got to this conclusion.

Unbecoming BraveBohemainDOTComThe first few years of our lives are spent “learning”. We learn all our lives, on many levels, but the types of learning we do early on is less aware. It’s much less about who we are than it is about how to function. In the process, we inevitably “become” someone. We’re named a birth, into a family, in a place, with a cultural background. We learn what all these references mean. We situate ourselves. We relate to others from our predetermined, subjective, point of reference; the someone we’ve (been) identified as. As we go through life, this someones’ story becomes heavier and heavier with experiences and this someone’s actions, decisions, and reactions become defined by each other. The frame of reference becomes more defined but also more limited in possibilities. The person (soul) who limits themselves to their identity’s frame of reference, whatever format is used here (cars, jobs, family…), stops listening to their guidance. The truth is, the story we tell ourselves about who we are only matters to our “someones”. Who we are – souls – don’t care about stories or typical forms. Our souls don’t care about our family histories, our jobs, our salaries, the houses we live in or the car we drive. Our souls use these as means to an end. Our souls don’t even regard “reasonable possibilities”. We are so much more than the identities we assume and we tend to limit ourselves because that’s what we learn.

Unbecoming is actively shedding parts of our assumed identities that no longer work for us. (Have they ever, really?) It can be compared to someone’s sense of style; for most of us, it’s clearer through choices what suits us. We decide to eliminate, we actively choose to not participate in trends, we refine what feels right and looks good on us. (At least, that’s the hope!) And of course, some styles work for us at certain stages of our lives and not others… we try on personalities and lifestyles and work our way to what ultimately, is “really us”. I see the process of “unbecoming” like me refining my soul’s personal style by taking away the superfluous, the tacky, the ‘age-inappropriate’, the unflattering and the uncomfortable. In so doing, I’m allowing the classic pieces and the few daring ones that act as my secret weapons to nail the “style” that is just right.

Now, hold the phone, I haven’t mastered this skill yet. There are layers of this to be done, at least in my case!

To me, unbecoming means….

That I’ve declined the invitation to conform, to be nice, to keep my head down just for the sake of it.
That I’m bolder about my life choices.
That I’m more honest in my words and actions, and that I’m firmer in my boundaries.
That I say no a lot, but I also say yes to more of what I want or need.
That my heart feels lighter and lighter.
That my head feels clear.
That my body feels strong and healthy.
That my decisions are in line with my values.
That I’m facing my fears about being apologetically who I am.
That I’m facing my fears about being responsible for my life.
That I’m getting closer to my core.

It remains a process that looks a lot like cha-cha, but its by-product is a beautiful dance of mySelf.

Unbecoming might just become a key word for me in my spiritual practice. What can I shed today / this week / this month / this year? Is this choice honouring me, deep down? What does my gut say?

What does unbecoming mean to you? Do you feel like there are habits or beliefs you could shed to be happier and lead a harmonious life?

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