Author: Mercedes Déziel-Hupé (page 2 of 18)

My Word Of The Year: Ritual

On the outside, I look like a normal, office professional with a no-waves lifestyle. I have a quiet life, for the most part. I’ve got a stable relationship, a few close friends and family members, a few hobbies and I’ve held onto the same job for the last (almost) three years.

The truth is, I’m a high-functioning rebel.

I find it incredibly hard to commit to new rules, schedules or habits. I love change – I even crave it often – when I’m instigating it. I don’t like it when others impose it on me.  I don’t like when authority figures try to strong arm me. I especially don’t like feeling as though someone questions my motivations. Sometimes, I even resist my own changes. Sometimes, I’ll abandon an idea or project just because I felt it a threat to my freedom or values. Whether that’s true or not, is all in my perspective.

Needless to say, I’m not one for resolutions… Change, I do, but going to the gym or quitting coffee? Hell would freeze over.

As we’ve past the half-way point of 2015, I feel it’s a good time to re-evaluate how I’ve managed to put self-honouring changes in place. This year, I chose to use one word and not a list of resolutions to be abandoned…

One Word Is All It Takes

It makes sense, it’s challenging to change habits. It’s even harder to change a few of them at a time. However, if we give ourselves one theme, guideline or word, it’s much easier to implement it into our lifestyle.

Naturally, I respond better to themes and cues than I do to complicated rules and lists. Most of us do, really. And who has the time to treat their life as a business analysis and produce forecasts and performance appraisals.

So back to simple. I chose a word. I proceeded to do the word of the year exercise by Christine Kane.  My word, as it turns out, was “Ritual“. The second word I was drawn to was “Love“.

I’ve discovered that for me, this meant a need to ground, center, find beauty, honour the sacred in the every day and honour what is sacred in me.

The word “exercise” begs the question: what does “ritual” mean to me? What forms has this taken?

And that’s the beauty of this particular exercise; it’s not prescriptive and it’s absolutely personal. You get out of it exactly what you need. Your word could be “beauty” or “joy” if what you need most is to re-learn how to enjoy yourself.

Ritual-ish

Risky Yoga Meditation; "It's all fun and games until someone loses an I."

Risky Yoga Meditation

I haven’t really created a daily ritual this year, but I’ve taken the approach of treating a few key activities as a ritual and my mornings as precious.

Writing, yoga or cycling (depending on the season), gardening and reading have been mindful activities for me. My mindset is to be more aware and to practice loving thoughts, feelings and activities.

When I engage, I am fully present. I appreciate the beauty and sacredness of the action. Essentially, I practice bringing more intention to what I do. On a broader level, implementing rituals helps me reconnect with my First Nations and Celtic roots.

I have made the commitment to write every day. Although I may not publish on this blog more than once weekly at the moment, I’m often working on ideas. I treat this place as a sacred space to reflect, exchange and listen to my own intuition. This is what a loving practice feels like for me. You may also love to write, or maybe you love to play board games or cook a nice meal. The key ingredient is to bring love to what you do.

A feather over smudge smoke in a shell.

Smudging Ceremony. Source: Manitobah Mukluks blog

In terms of energy healing, I have decided, as I commit to my reiki practice to also include it in my morning rituals. I’ve been smudging, my home and myself, almost weekly. And monthly, I’ve been practicing the Rite of the Womb.

I have witnessed the power of ritual in my life; it increases my awareness, my gratitude and my self-healing ability.

What I’ve noticed in my life

Creative Flow

I write with ease, I make decisions with less difficulty and my problem-solving ability has improved. I am steadfast with this blog, and it becomes easier and yet, more meaningful to me. I feel inspired daily and have caught myself expressing a “can-do” attitude. I have been blessed with many insights on my life, mySelf, my choices and my surroundings. When we treat life with grace, grace is what we’re given.

Overall Health

This year, I’ve listened to my body more closely. I’ve been less affected by the typical winter bugs. My sleep has been better this year than it has been in years. When I ride my bike, I feel like I’m flying, not like I’m about to have one of my previously famous asthma attacks. I’ve started ditching guilt. I have less and less cravings for unhealthy foods. I’ve begun valueing myself as a being of light, deserving of wellness. I’ve become inclined toward physical activity as a source of life-affirmation, not as a necessary evil or a form of punishment for carrying excess weight and not meeting society’s standards of health and beauty.

If you could pick a word to inspire your actions, what would it be? Do you have any ritual you have found helpful?

 

 

Getting Over Existential Anxiety

This post is the second part of my post called “Anxious About The Future?

I recently read a journal entry from a year ago (almost to the day). I was struck by such sadness, which nearly sent me in a Snoopy is having an existential crisispanic, when I realized that the goals I’d held dear then were not, to this day, realized. In that moment, I did not feel any closer to creating meaning in my life, much less anywhere near fulfilling small dreams (or big ones!). I cried for what felt like lost time, missed opportunities and apparent failure.

Relationships of all kinds become uncomfortable when you feel unrest about your life and who you are in it. Are you even the protagonist of your own life? What kind of story is it? These days, it feels like I don’t know if I’m writing an epic, a drama, a comedy or a nature documentary about ants. I am not at ease in my life situation. Deep in my stomach, I feel an urgency, a yearning for something more. My mind races and I can’t sit for very long to focus. I couldn’t sleep these past few nights from the thoughts of “am I living?” and “I have to get away to clear my head”! I even had a full-body allergic reaction which caused my skin to itch until I felt like I was losing my mind. I get those, once in a while, usually around seasonal changes…

Naturally, reading this, anyone can see it’s a real struggle to me and it’s an unhealthy state to live in. Luckily, these Charlie Chaplin Quote on Loving Yourselfmomentary “freak-outs” don’t last, especially when I take steps. Here’s what I mean. I think the questioning is healthy, it helps me refocus but the process could certainly be less intense. In these moments, I revert to self-care and time alone. I try to appease my restless mind with useful jobs like: “listen to your heart; what steps do you need to take to heal and move forward?”

So I make lists, or I talk to a counsellor or I resolve a situation that needs my attention. Whatever it is I need in that moment, I do it. Things may not be entirely resolved and I may not be entirely happy about my situation, but I accept where I am and I recognize why I’m there, as I ACT in small (or big) ways towards a life situation or relationships that DO in fact fill me with peace, acceptance and meaning.

It’s ok to feel the feelings and they won’t always be good, warm and fuzzy ones. Be kind to yourself, give yourself the care you need and take a step toward a life situation that DOES fulfill and honour YOU. The key is to not fall into self-pity and self-defeating thinking and behaviour.

Whatever you do, don’t give up on yourself, don’t stop growing even when you’re scared and don’t stop your journey. Go where life takes you, all while listening to your heart / dreams / purpose. Don’t become a living ghost, just don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’re all in this together, doing our own living thing. Lots of love to you! xo

Have you ever felt existential anxiety and if so, what triggers it and how do you deal with it?

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