Category: Life by Design (Page 15 of 20)

This includes posts on lifestyle choices, budgeting, routines, homes.

Simplicity: Streamline into Purpose

You’ve been hearing about this world-wide counter-culture trend of minimalism, from tiny living spaces to capsule wardrobes and multi-functional furniture. I’ve been inspired by many of these pioneers who’ve achieved zero-waste homes and streamlined their errands.  I study WAHMs (Working At Home Moms) blogs in amazement, because one day, I want to rock the mom thing (Tsh, Nina, Ruth and Anna are some of my favourite bloggers in this area). I often think of these bloggers and forward-thinkers as miracle-workers. I think: “I couldn’t possibly do what they did.”

But I can, and we can… we just trip and bash our egos on the details.

Although minimalism and intentional living have tremendous benefits as lifestyle choices,  the overarching concept of simplificity and streamlining (often put forward in minimalism) serves as  guiding principles on a spiritual level, which then trickles down into other areas of our lives.

By valuing simplification, it’s easier to streamline our choices and actions towards doing less of what does not suit who we are and what we want out of our lives. By simplifying down to what we value most (in varying forms such as relationships, careers, passions, families, hobbies…), we make room for meaning in our daily lives. We create our lives in practical and artful terms and in the process, we find purpose in meaning.

The BIG Shift to Simplicity

Since returning from holidays, I’ve discovered the many ways this trip has benefited my development and well-being (travel – the gift that keeps on giving!). Being around friends from all walks of life, one sentiment that stuck with me through the trip was how anything is possible. This was such a freeing realization, one I finally understood in my heart and in my gut as much as in my mind.

You’re probably thinking: “how is this simplifying? How does that have anything to do with streamlining, if she’s saying ‘anything’s possible’ ?”

As I sit with this thought, my mind goes straight into problem-solving mode to respond to my deepest longings. My mind says: “Heart, if anything is possible, this thing you hold dear, this dream you want to live out, this project you want to birth; it is possible! We can make it happen together!”

We're happy to be having a picnic in Bruges, Belgium

Anything is possible! (Here, we’re having the best picnic ever in Bruges)

My heart and my mind had a pow wow and agreed; the ONLY decisions that matter are the ones that allow Mercedes to follow her calling and co-creating loving relationships.  Those are the decisions that lead her to take action toward her dreams and her Self, making her feel most alive!  Everything else is gravy, as they say. Everything else then becomes about savouring life’s surprises and going with the flow. But the steps I take mindfully, I take in the direction of my calling and my loving relationships.

All of a sudden, judgment and fear takes a backseat. I don’t care about likelihood, opinions, past failures or “wasted” years. What I need to do is clear and moreover, I need to keep listening to the part of me saying:

“You’ve known all along and you’re more than capable, and worthy of your dreams. Don’t let others write your story. You aren’t greedy; you only want to follow your path. That’s also very yogic; you’re stepping away from things that aren’t meant for you, as you know they are meant for others and what’s meant for you is already yours. You’re already accepting of what comes to you in your journey, whatever that is. You’re ready to BE who you are.”

This is such a HUGE shift for a woman who’s been “glorifying busy” most of her teens and

Mercedes is at the fountain in front of the United Nations, in Geneva, Switzerland.

Refreshing! – I’m at the UN fountain.

young adult life. I was someone who was “trying on ambition” in the traditional sense and it felt like an itchy wool sweater. I often felt I needed to earn favours, work hard to deserve success and work even harder to earn leisure and rest. When I write this, I feel silly; my head knows that I’m worthy of happiness but that’s not how I’ve been living. There must have been beliefs (soul agreements) that prevented me from enjoying a simple, meaningful life. Heck, I could create that simple, purposeful life right now.

“But first, I should do…and then I need to…and really, this has to…” …aaaand nonsense.

It’s all just smoke and mirrors. If you want to be happy, be happy now. Make that choice, then work out what it means. If you want out of the life situation you *currently* have (whether that’s a job or a relationship), then ask yourself what *would* honour you and then work out how to do it and DO IT.

How Does Simplicity Help Me?

If you don’t know what your calling is or don’t believe in the concept of purpose, then by all means, listen to what lights you up, makes you smile and gives you energy. What makes you want to get up in the morning? What is the favourite part of your day? Whom do you most admire and why? How are you and your heroes alike? Are you envious of anyone? Ponder that.

For me, the spiritual simplicity of my life means that I will not limit my thinking or my options, because that would mean getting caught up in the details. After all, my mind should serve me, not control me. I won’t focus on a goal, but on the action. I ask myself: “does this honour me? Does this help me fulfill my calling or create loving relationships?” In even simpler terms: “Does this help me write? Does this help me practice reiki? Am I helping others in my way, with my gifts? Does this help me grow in my relationship?”

And that is how I focus my actions around my choices, which are based off my values. I am gaining clarity because I’m guided by few but strong principles.  Right now, I am called to write and to focus on wellness. Right now, my love partnership is a strong, rewarding bond that will (one day) blossom into the family we wish to welcome. As a harmonious partner (in the making) and a (mostly) serene writer and reiki practitioner, I feel I am better equipped to co-create other loving relationships (with family, friends, colleagues). I also feel more prepared to ride waves of life, because I found my centre.

With the steps I take, I’m streamlining my life choices so that I create, in love and in self-honouring practice, a life that is as true and alive as I was ever meant to be. Simply.

In what ways has simplifying your choices, actions or schedule improved your life? What does it allow for? Have you streamlined an area of your life to your greater satisfaction?

Reintegration After Vacation

I have been back in this time zone (EST) for three days but I don’t feel a part of this rhythm yet. I have been home, which after travelling for any length of time, is a tremendous comfort to me (and most people) but I have not changed gears; I have not gone into productive behaviour and I certainly haven’t returned to my reality (yet).

I decided to extend this feeling of holiday and allow myself time to reintegrate.

At the Louvre

We’re in front of the Louvre

It’s a need I feel has become quite palpable for me over the years. I’m sure this is something that is true for many people, and there’s no need to be highly sensitive or an introvert to recognize a need to transition. For the worker bees, we feel it on Monday mornings. Others find the first few days after a holiday to be a drag; they feel tired and they can’t concentrate. Their minds wander to other places and their personal rhythm seems outside of their “normal” routine and duties.

I am blessed with wanderlust and like many of us, I was not born into a family of unlimited means and so, I have to prepare my travels. In a way, this is a blessing because it’s made me deeply curious and grateful to experience new places, cultures, foods, customs and people.

We're at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris

We’re at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris

A holiday is not necessarily synonymous with vacation (or travel), but for me, it is often a choice I make for wellness. I find travelling to be soul food. I usually find myself refreshed; my spirits lifted, my heart full and my mind clear. My body is usually spent and I sleep soundly and I dream the most vivid dreams.

When I travel, whether for business or pleasure (but mostly for fun!), I feel like a sponge or a satellite dish (you can relate to one of these, I’m sure); I want to grasp as much as my being can handle.  It’s my way of travelling and it makes me feel alive. I remember to pace myself, as often, my body will remind me of its needs. I take those reminders as cues to savour what I’ve experienced.

As an eloquent friend met in Paris put it:

“You can travel to tick items off your list while exhausting yourself or you can travel to get a sense of place and people while savouring the experience.”

I couldn’t agree more. I often fight the urge to be “productive” but it doesn’t take long for me to recognize how happy I am going with the flow, making choices and cherishing this moment. Travelling brings out the best and worst of me. In the end, it shows me my humanity and my greatness and I am grateful.

This July, I have seen marvellous places and tasted delicious dishes. I’ve heard foreign

Julia and Will, showered with confetti on their wedding day.

Julia and Will, showered with confetti on their wedding day.

languages tickle my ear. I have felt kindness, pride and generosity from strangers and friends alike. I have been welcomed with open arms and blessed with the hospitality of many. I have imagined many lives and paths. I bore witness to a dear friend’s day of love and commitment (congratulations to Julia and Will on their wedding! Can’t wait to see you at home in August). I have shared every day with my life partner and I can say that I am happy and I recognize how fortunate I am to be walking my path with a wonderful soul and my best friend.

It’s so overwhelming to be back… I just need a few more days. A few more days to integrate this experience. Growing takes adjustment. A few more days to then plug myself back into my life here. But how? I fully expect to be adding to it some of the lessons, stories and feelings from my latest excursion. But for now, I just need a few more days of just being. Have you ever felt such beauty, such effervescence and deep peace that you want to hold onto it and then you realize that your life “format” is (was) just too small to allow you to function with all this wonder?

That’s it… my previous life format was just too small. Travel is an expansive endeavour.  This outcome is also why I thirst for travel.

“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Scott and Mercedes smiling at the Queen's pub in London, England

We’re having a great time with friends in London at the Queen’s pub.

I plan to share some of my European adventure with you over the next couple of weeks as these past couple of weeks have taught me about mySelf in its grace and in its humanity. I have tried to post to instagram some snapshots of the beautiful places I have been; I hope you’ve caught a glimpse!

How do you transition to a day-to-day routine after a holiday or a vacation?

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