Tag: Awareness (Page 3 of 8)

Hiccups: Learning Patience

My posting plans changed this week when I sent my poor laptop to the repair shop. I made the mistake of leaving on my bed and kicking it (accidentally) to the ground. I didn’t realize the extend of the damage until the next day when I couldn’t charge it or even turn it on. It seems I’ve unintentionally broken the internal power connection.

I wondered… what does this inconvenience teach me?

One thing’s for sure, I’ll be grateful when I have it back in full-functioning order. But beyond that, what is it teaching me, to not have one of my go-to tools taken away (perhaps by my own distraction or carelessness… say what you will)?

I take for granted what I do have. Often.

I didn’t realize how convenient it was and how much I depended on having a laptop of my own. It makes my life so much easier than having to share, and yet, I took this piece of technology for granted. This made me think, wow, I do often forget how much I have, how much I’m given and how often I complain about what I *don’t* have. Perspective, perspective, perspective!

I drew this bit of inspiration when I most needed to read it.

I drew this bit of inspiration when I most needed to read it.

I have a kind, knowledgeable, supportive partner.

Scott didn’t make me feel worse for having broken parts of my computer, rendering it unusable until it was in laptop-surgery. Even though we’re preparing for an across-the-ocean trip and are very mindful of our budget to make it a debt-free trip. He knew I didn’t break *my* computer on purpose. I felt silly enough as it was… He also helped me establish a reasonable repair budget and he put his computer(s) at my disposal. (How else would I be writing this?)

It’s ok to slow down. In fact, it’s an act of self-care.

I felt terrible about not posting on this blog this week. I told myself I wasn’t showing up for myself, making time for something I cared about and letting followers and readers down. Then, I realized that I was being more respectful of mySelf by shaking off the pressure than ‘shoulding’ all over myself and letting that transpire in my writing. I rather write from a place of care (for me and for you) than writing from a place of irritation and obligation. Perhaps I broke my computer because I needed a break from things. Maybe on some level, I was careless because I could not care at the same level anymore; I needed to take a step back, regroup, breathe, make sense of my feelings and form some loving thoughts before putting more out into the world.

Scott picked these to cheer me up.

Scott picked these to cheer me up.

I went outside more than usual.

I wandered in my front and back gardens on sunny days. I lingered in the rain on my bike rides home and watched the ducks (heck, I was wet anyway). I stopped and smelled my flowers and admired their growth and their beauty. I felt so fortunate to see my irises introduce my fragrant peonies, ushering my rose buds into being. I’m excited to see all these beautiful lives popping out of the ground, seeking the sun, sharing their vitality and their perseverance. It made me realize that I am learning so much from my garden. What a gift!

I’m learning patience.

Strawberries from our garden! Take that, squirrels!

Strawberries from our garden! Take that, squirrels!

I even found strawberries in my vegetable patch. After three years, we finally beat the squirrels to these delicious treats! That’s patience! Our previous roommate had told us: “Squirrels are the most idiotically hopeful rodents. They will keep at your flowers buds and fruit until they find something worthwhile.” Squirrels are some pretty bratty teachers, let me tell you. But hey, if I beat ’em to their own game, doesn’t that make me…rightfully hopeful? It certainly proves that I know how to wait for my time and create my moment.

I read more and I listened more.

Not “conveniently” having access to Netflix made me sit with yummy books this week. I’ll shamelessly promote an author I love, here: Daily Love. Growing Into Grace by Mastin Kipp. It’s been one of my go-to reads in this period of serendipidous “dis-connect to tune-in”. I’ve also paid more attention to signs this week, listened to my inner voice and wisdom and that made me more available to listen to my loved ones (partner, friends, parents).

Meanwhile, as I wait for my lappy sidekick, tell me what challenge has made you more patient?
What events have caused you to pause and learn something valuable about yourself?

The Power of Visualization

The May 24 weekend sees thousands of people flock to the hip and chic central neighborhood of the Glebe for a long-standing tradition: The Great Glebe Garage Sale (GGGS). For Ottawans who happen to also be thrifters, it’s a pretty big deal. My partner and I being thirfty and creative people watchers, this is an exciting meeting of the senses. We’ve been almost every year since we’ve met as friends and decided to shack up. Although some years have been less successful in terms of “finds”, we usually have a grand ol’ time running into friends and basically, contemplating the quirks and trends of locals.

This year being one where I’ve redefined abundance, I didn’t feel the same need to ‘hunt’ for treasure. The mindset is quite a liberating one. Don’t misunderstand; I like a mad deal and a unique find as much as the next fashionista or DIY queen, but it just wasn’t a drive. I wasn’t attached to an outcome. For me, it was all about the experience. I wanted to spend a sunny Saturday morning with my honey, walking about, narrating our adventure and sharing some banter on why some rather pessimistic attendees call the Great Glebe ‘Garbage’ Sale. It surprises me how some people just don’t see the humour in the (very) broad scale of stands, exhibits and displays. Besides, doesn’t it make it all the more precious when you find the ‘right’ thing for you?

In any case, I wasn’t looking to blow my spending budget nor did I want to get impractical trinkets. For a woman who loves beauty and who cares about her environment, this is saying something. Wow, sometimes, I feel like I’ve come a long way! I decided to make peace with the outcome of the GGGS before it happened. I decided to roll a film in my head of the absolute best finds for me. As I pictured myself finding certain (practical and less practical) items, I knew deep down that if they were a good thing for me, however practical, I would find them. I then imagined the following…

Visualization Before The GGGS

I pictured myself finding one or two yak or alpaca wool sweaters in a neutral colour such as beige or brown. I saw myself smiling that I had found just the right sweater for my needs. You see, I wanted a sweater to wear travelling this summer, because you simply can’t dress up a hoodie.

I pictured myself finding books I would use. Nothing specific, just a book I would find a use for. I love books… we’ve established this in earlier posts. 😉

The next thing I visualized, and this was a whim, a whisper from my heart, not so much a practical wish, but one that charmed me just thinking about it, was that I would stumble upon a mechanical typewriter. I didn’t care about the model, the year or even the colour. But just for shakes and giggles, I decided to picture three colours I would particularly find fetching: blue (turquoise, sky, teal…), pink or cream. I figured, if we’re dreaming, might as well be wild! Might as well dream big!

Before falling asleep, I’d decided my morning was going to go smoothly, and I’d decided that the only things I wanted were the few things I’d find a use for and would also please me aesthetic. As I imaged this, I felt how giddy I’d feel if I found those items. And then, I let it go. I was ok if I didn’t find them then. I was ok with whatever timeline I’d get those things in, if they were meant for me. But I trusted that it would all work out. And I fell into a restful sleep.

Morning Of…

Saturday morning rolled around and we got up, my honey made breakfast AND my coffee. This is key, because he doesn’t drink coffee and I love it, so the fact that he made me one, for the road, was him going above and beyond to make my morning good.

We had trouble finding parking but we found a nifty spot next to the Canal, at Dow’s Lake. Within a few minutes, I found a dynamic yoga book. “What? That’s so cool!” It was in some milk crate of old random books, not on some neat display of wellness books. I leafed through it and it offered the right amount of “challenging” poses as I’d expect from a book I’d use at this stage in my practice. SOLD!

After wandering for about an hour and a half, we had to use the facilities (one of us more than the other). He wanted to head back to the car (which was still pretty far) and I wanted to go to Bank street to find a coffee shop and something to nosh on. We settled on the French Baker and I yielded that if he still wanted to leave after that, I’d be ok walking to the car. As we stepped out with croissants in hand, he suggested we mosey-on back to where we parked, all the while taking in the sights from other streets. Curiosity got the better of him. I didn’t mind one bit.

On the next to last street on our way back, I stumbled upon a Montreal-based guest merchant who happened to be selling beige sweaterend of stock alpaca wool sweaters. There were two left in my size: a beige and brown pull-over and a brown and beige button sweater. What?!? The best past was that they cost me under $25 and were BRAND NEW. Alpaca and yak wool sweaters go for upwards of $60. He was also certified fair-trade. So I couldn’t even feel guilty about the deal! Huzzah!

I was pretty happy with myself by then and I was trailing behind my partner like a three year old who had too much candy and her arms full of blanky and teddy. When I finally caught up, that’s when I saw a beautiful, multi-coloured paisley scarf I’d been looking for over a year ago. I simply needed to throw it own and hear that it was going for less than our two croissants and I was making out like a bandit.

My soft new pashmina. Style can be a bargain!

My soft new pashmina. Style can be a bargain!

As we walk down the last street to the car, I’m overheating, it’s about 10:15 and I’ve just about had it with the crowd. My honey went ahead to bring the car around. That’s when the crowd dissipated and I felt a welcome breeze. It blew past my left ear. That was the sale side. I brushed my hair behind my left ear and turned to take inventory (and a breath). That’s when I saw it: the blue Remington typewriter.

Blue Remington Typewriter

My blue Remington!

I hesitated for a second before I shook off my surprise and walked up and put my hand on it, in good garage-sale form. I asked a trendy, smiling lady just barely younger than me if she was selling it. She was happy to tell me she was, it was in full working order and it had belonged to her great aunt, who’d done her nursing degree with that blue baby. She’d kept this in storage and felt bad it wasn’t having adventures of its own anymore. We were equally pleased with the transaction; the Remington was going to a good home.

This experience is just another example of manifestation and serendipity working in my life. By tuning in and believing, while being open to receiving in whatever format, I am allowing for the things I need (and a lot that I want) to come to me. And when I do meet a helpful person, hear an insightful message, receive a thoughtful gift, benefit from a great deal, I’m all the more grateful.

Have you ever visualized something into your life? Have you been surprised by the power of your own visualization?

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