Tag: Intention

Love Is A Verb: Loving, Love, Loved

I haven’t been in many long-term relationships. So I’m often curious about how successful couples manage to not only “make it work” but how they love and like each other after years of life’s waves crashing at their shores.

They fall in love with each other over and over. They choose to be together. They grow together. They love each other a day at a time. Who doesn’t want a love with lasting power? We may love the butterflies, but once it’s over, we want something to keep our hearts warm through the every day, with some romance here and there. It’s said that a huge part of the human experience is to share it with another.

How DO the long-lasting happy couples do it?


It seems that the secret isn’t a secret at all. It’s in understanding the word… and I’m a trained linguistic, so here goes.

Love is a verb.

The Merriam-Webster defines a verb as:

grammar : a word (such as jump, think, happen, or exist ) that is usually one of the main parts of a sentence and that expresses an action, an occurrence, or a state of being

Because relationships involve at least two people (and that’s enough for me personally), the relationship is alive. Because relationships are alive, they evolve, grow and change. A relationship is an organism, a being and beings imply actions as much as states. In fact, states are often fleeting moments in between actions.

Love is an exchange, which you can see in friendships, in parent-child relationships, in romance. The exchange is an action, or rather a series of actions. Love, is inevitably, a series of actions made from a place of awareness and intention.

Love, whether romantic or otherwise, is absolutely an aspect of an intentional life.

love is a verb to be acted outLoving Relationships

Every day is a chance to start fresh. I often forget that I am powerful and that with each sunrise, I am renewed in my creative ability. There’s no way to know the future and all we have is now. So why not make the choice to love?

I’ve been in my relationship for over four years now and it’s the longest and most honest one I’ve been in. I’m free to be me and I learn how to love even the less likeable traits of another human being. It’s a challenge, and some days, as he puts it “we don’t like each other’s behaviour very much” but “we are committed and we love each other”. What he means is “I chose to be here and I choose it again.” It’s rewarding and I’m still standing by his side. There are certainly factors that influence my choice and I try to keep three things in mind when making my choice.

The 3 things that affect our choice to love: Presence, Change and Free Will

  1. Presence: It’s important to keep in mind that we’re in a relationship with the person in front of us today. We can talk about yesterday and tomorrow, but do we love who’s in front of us right now? Can we connect? Is the overall picture still of a healthy, fulfilling relationship? Is this person (and am I) acting out of love and if not, is that something I can help with? We need to bring awareness back to each other, to right now. What can we DO now to show this person we love them? Because the present is a gift, we must think in terms of gratitude and grateful people offer thanks. Why not an act of love?
  2. Change: The one constant in life is change. Living beings also grow and evolve. Actively rediscovering each other as we grow is a crucial part of the process of love. As people, we step forward, we fall back, we leap, we soar, we crash. Our process is messy. There are internal factors and then, there are external factors. Our interests vary, we learn new things, we integrate new lessons. We make new friends, we get new jobs. We undergo a plethora of temptations (from too much sugar to a spending free to wondering what life would be single). Sharing these experiences with your partner and making the relationship a spiritual practice of communication and participation will help grow together.
  3. Free Will: This part is implied in change. We’re in relationships with at least another person. The notion of “one” might be romantic, but it’s not practically true. We’re two parts of a greater whole, but those parts are people, with minds, hearts, souls and bodies over which only THEY have dominion. This is super hard to swallow for any Type A or codependent person (ahem, I know first-hand), but you CAN’T control the other person. Nor should you want to. Learning the balance between respecting yourself in your values and allowing your loved one space to BE is incredibly difficult when it doesn’t suit you (it sounds terrible, but that’s the human truth!). Letting go of control means we’re vulnerable, but it’s the only way to love someone completely for who they are. Express your needs, be respectful and let go!

Essentially, to build (and rebuild) loving relationships, to withstand the waves, we need to adapt. Our relationship is never the same. We then move past habits and beliefs that have become ingrained and no longer serve us. We need to bring our awareness back to the present and focus on loving actions to take. That’s how we show and feel the love we share. To be loved, we must first choose to love. We give before we receive, but we also need to know how to receive. That, in itself, is a bit of a challenge. But love helps us rise to the occasion.

We need to push ourselves (and each other) gently into conjugating love for our relationship(s), or we become complacent. Love is a verb. Take action!

Things To Do On Earth Day

April 22 is like a nature’s festival for me. Spring is here most days (even in Canada!), tulips and perennials are starting to pop out of the ground, and the litter that spent all winter hidden under the snow is also sprouting…

Spring cleaning isn’t just for our houses. Fellow homeowners will know what I mean when I say that even see the yard work seem to magically reappear. And that house siding needs a good pressure wash and that fence needs painting. Our bikes need tuning up. In the midst of all these chores, we realize the impact of seasons. Earth Day is a day of awareness, but it’s also a day of gratitude and responsibility. We must be grateful for the bounty that’s available to us through nature’s cycles and rhythms. We are also responsible for caring for the Earth as we would our homes.

It should be Earth Day every day because really, where else are we going to live?

Source: ChibiGuardianAngel, on DeviantArt

Source: ChibiGuardianAngel, on DeviantArt

Here are two guiding principles to rock your Earth Day.

Get Involved

There are many ways you can educate yourself on environmental issues or take a proactive Happy-Earth-Dayapproach. Perhaps you will feel compelled by a community garden project or you’ll want to clean up your local park. Maybe you want to learn about local wildlife and how to help protect these animals.

Ideas to get involved, make a difference and learn!

  • Attend a plant swap or check out your local garden club
  • Install a rain water barrel in your yard (some cities subsidize their purchase)
  • Get a composter (some cities offer the service or even offer free compost)
  • Sign-up for a plant walk or a medicinal plant course
  • Clean your lawn, stoop, balcony and pick up the trash that blew from the wind
  • Pick up trash from your nearest green space, whether a park or a playground
  • For a cleaner commute: tune-up your bike or dust-off your running shoes
  • Volunteer at a park, like this one in my area
  • If you’re ready for commitment and love animals, shelters are always looking for good families


Earth Day is also meant to celebrate! I feel it’s important to honour our relationship to the Earth and nature because we are part of it. The better we understand our place and our relation to other living beings, whether they be animals, plants, crystals, water or soil, the easier it is to live in harmony. The relationship of oneness becomes clear and rewarding. We feel connected and we find purpose. Through this experience and mindful action, we create meaning.

Ideas to get you to nourish your relationship to all that is.

  • Go hiking or walk in nature for at least 1 h
  • If you live near a body of water, walk along it and admire its greatness and depth
  • Go birding or walk your dog somewhere new and green
  • If you work in the city, take your lunch outside
  • Prepare a raw, vegan meal – experience food that is alive and not-processed
  • Try a hatha yoga class or find a guided meditation on Youtube
  • In your mind, try thanking your food today, and everyone who brought it to you: “Thank you, you are life, you are love.”
  • Get your hands dirty: plant seeds or re-pot house plants


Personally, I’ll be taking nature walks, attending a yoga flow class (to help me with the flow of change and seasons) and downsizing my closet to favour natural fibres.

I hope these ideas get your green creative juices flowing and that you feel the wonder and brother and sisterhood of Earth Day.



Tell me how you’ll be celebrating.

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