Shine Archives - Page 15 of 30 - Mercedes Déziel-Hupé

As we prepare for the Holidays, there’s a lot of hectic energy in the air, in part, because we set so many expectations for ourselves.

We want to host our families, or travel to visit with them. We want to see our friends before the whirlwind that is Christmas in North America. Some of us are shopping for gifts (or making them) or we’re worried about under/over doing things or forgetting someone. We want to have great tasting seasonal food and are struggling with what to cook and what to purchase and where. Some of us are feverishly decorating.

You get the picture.

A fundamental component of happiness (and of simple living!) is learning to go with the flow. Recognizing that decisions that suit us best may change from year to year, or depending on our current life situation, is key to our overall well-being. Tradition is meant to comfort us and give us warm fuzzies, not cause sleepless nights and give us heartburn!

For example, deciding not to decorate, even if it normally makes you cheerful, because you just don’t have enough time to host and visit with friends before leaving to visit family. Or deciding to buy local and/or organic prepared holiday food instead of making it from scratch so that you can spend the time you do have with loved ones.

It’s ok to make decisions that suit us. It’s ok to define what “simple” means to us. And guess what, from one year to the next, that can change!

In the past few weeks, I’ve struggled with acceptance and going with the flow.

I missed having the Christmas tree up at home (and no snow!?!!). The atmosphere wasn’t festive and I found it hard to accept that my own travel plans to see family shifted around. I wanted it just so and well, things changed on me.

Hey, what can you do?

That’s just it… we can’t control everything (nor should we want to). What we can do, however, is learn to go with the flow. We do our (personal) best and accept situations in order to feel happier or to better enable change towards something that’s better for us. In any case, going with the flow of life, whether it’s for a day, a season or a life transition, will always be easier on our hearts and health.

I hope you remember to go with the flow over the Holidays, and in your life, whenever things don’t go as planned… look for the lesson, look for the good, look for your happy.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza…and warmest seasonal greetings to you!

We’ve all been there. There’s too much on our plates, we can’t keep up, we feel exhausted and weekends just don’t do the trick anymore – they’re packed with errands, anyway.

Life has no Pause button. But guess what? Life doesn’t need to run on Fast Forward either.

We’re allowed to slow the heck down. We can choose which days we let unfold and which ones we run with, and it becomes a dance. Sometimes, we just need to bust some stress.

Overwhelm is a lot like stress in that it lives in the space between our expectations and our reality. Overwhelm is the result of feeling incapable of dealing with a situation in its perceived form (key detail here!). We perceive a “need” to do/react/solve/accomplish in a time frame that seems improbable, without the tools we think we need. In most cases though, our reality is very different from what we perceive and assume about a situation.

The good news is you can shift your perspective in order to ease your mind and soothe your heart and body.

5 Steps to Defuse Overwhelm

1-Acknowledge the Feeling

Denying what’s going on in your body, your mind or heart will not do you any favours. It’s only going to keep you disconnected from your body and fester to blow up into something worse later. Acknowledge that you are feeling overwhelmed and notice what your triggers are.

2-Assess – Your Feelings vs Reality

Ask yourself if your feelings are proportional to the situation. Sometimes, putting things in perspective is enough to defuse the overwhelm. In doing so, we can start thinking clearly about the situation again – without the emotional charge. If not, then ask yourself what about your situation requires your attention and why. In other words, beyond your triggers, what’s really going on and what would happen if you didn’t react to this? ASK the people involved to clarify facts you may have assumed. If you need to respond, what is the absolute need and when can you allow yourself to withdraw?

3-Give Yourself Permission to Take a Break

Do you really need to fold another basket of laundry TONIGHT? Do you need to stay up late to finish a report, or could you just take a book to bed and catch an early night? The reality of it is, we set all these expectations for how we think we should live, perform, care, clean, organize… And we end up should-ing all over ourselves. I’ve struggled with this a LONG time! I still occasionally catch myself and think “It’s ok, enjoy that bath… Put down the laptop and read the last chapter of your book, you know you want to!”. It’s absolutely normal to not feel/act/think at our best all the time. We’re allowed to take breaks…and we need them!

4-Communicate + Ask for Help

As much as we think we know everything with the digital age, people aren’t yet mind readers. It’s ok to tell the people involved (or at least your loved ones) how you’re feeling about a situation. It’s not about blaming or passing the buck; it’s about being honest with yourself and those you love. No (wo)man is an island, so be brave and ask for help, even if it’s a small thing. Bosses can understand negotiating deadlines. Children can understand waiting an hour for help with their homework. Don’t assume people know what’s going on with you and don’t assume you know their ability to help (or take a load off your plate).

Here Are 3 Signs You Need To Ask For Help.

5-Give Yourself Care

If you accidentally cut yourself or get even just a paper cut, you tend to it, right? You rinse it in cold water and either rub balm if it’s small, or get stitches if it’s deep. Overwhelm is a form of emotional injury – it can be small or great, but you probably still want to tend to it! Mental and emotional health are as important as physical health…because they’re all connected! Ask yourself what you need to feel better and give yourself that care. Others will also show more respect for your needs when they see that you set care standards for yourself…but that’s just gravy!

How do you deal with overwhelm and regain peace?

Category: Shine (Page 15 of 30)

Going with the Flow

Defusing Overwhelm