attitude Archives - Page 3 of 5 - Mercedes Déziel-Hupé

An old Irish proverb says:

A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.

It’s funny because it’s true. I’ve especially experienced the power of laughter in the last six months to a year. I can’t say that it’s even been conscious. It sort of, happened. I started laughing every day. Perhaps, the challenges of the last few years (my personal health struggles, family illness and work-related stresses) pushed me to a point where laughing was a way to find life’s sweetness again. I started seeing humour in many situations, even in my own actions and reactions. Although I was unaware, I made space for laughter and it filled my heart.

My parents tell me that I was a truly happy baby, and a cheerful child. I suspect most of us are. Sure, temperament is present from a young age, but I believe that our natural state is one of peace and as long as nothing really happens to make us deeply unhappy as children, it’s easier for us to laugh than it is to cry. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile and the benefits of laughter range from brain chemistry, to a positive attitude and an overall strong immune system. There’s a wealth of articles on the science and benefits of laughter, namely by WebMD, Gaiam Life, the Mayo Clinic and Psychology Today.

I began to smile more. I then started to chuckle and occasionally, laugh out loud. I had good throat laughs and good belly laughs. I’ve even had laughing fits. You know, the ones that hurt your abs because you’ve laughed so hard? I hadn’t experienced those laughing marathons, those that make you feel connected to your mischievous companions, since my University days, nearly a decade ago. I had laughs that closed my eyes so I could look inside. I’ve had laughs break me down into tears, to release what I didn’t know was weighing me down.

When I realized, recently, that I found reasons to laugh every day of my life, it’d been a few months and many a number of things had improved for me.

I laughed at work with colleagues. My days just seemed shorter, I felt less stress and I was able to laugh at myself and some of the trickier parts of my day job.I began to feel more confident in my abilities and this showed in my performance. I was also more open to helping my colleagues because the tension was gone.

I began laughing more at home and in my relationships. To my surprise, others responded in kind. By seeing the humour in the incomplete chores and in my own “hangriness” (my state of moodiness when I get hungry), I reconnected with my partner and allowed both of us to be human. We better accept each other. We’re less on edge. As it should be, because we’re on the same team and life’s got enough challenges as it is. When I reconnected to the funnier, fun-loving side of my personality, those sides of my friends also resurfaced. As social creatures, we tend to match energies, or vibes. So why not focus on a rising tide to lift all boats?

Laughter by Pete Stacey

Laughter is a form of energy healing. It’s medicine in the traditional, shamanic sense. The whole experience shifts our energy, our physical bodies and our state of mind. It’s also a bridge that allows us to connect with others. Laughter isn’t hindered by language. Some sources of laughter are universal, which serve as equalizers. Other sources of laughter are more subjective, yet, they find their audiences and those people bond in the shared experience. Moreoever, laughter is often contagious.

Some of the world’s wisest, most enlightened people and higher-level thinkers are often seen smiling or laughing. It’s like they have this secret that they can’t wait to share. Their lives are enriched by their sense of humour and they touch many people with their joy, their kindness and their wise words. That’s because they know when to be serious and when to laugh. Our ability to laugh is a gift and a self-healing tool. And when we heal ourselves, we heal the world.

Although my laughter-based transformation was not initially a conscious one, I’m deciding to cultivate laughter as an intentional practice. Find the funny and let the laughter out!

How has laughter changed your overall perspective? How has laughter changed the outcome of a challenging situation?

There’s a word that kept resurfacing in the past few months and I’ve decided to pay attention. The idea of “unbecoming” has been coming to me in internet quotes, books I’ve read, conversations I’ve had. Although, the expression has been adopted in a pejorative way to mean unflattering, it stuck.

Unbecoming is defined as:

: not attractive : not becoming

: not appropriate or acceptable for a person in a particular job or position

What if “unbecoming” was the key to our happiness?

What if unbecoming was the gateway to inner peace?

I think it is. Here’s how I got to this conclusion.

The first few years of our lives are spent “learning”. We learn all our lives, on many levels, but the types of learning we do early on is less aware. It’s much less about who we are than it is about how to function. In the process, we inevitably “become” someone. We’re named a birth, into a family, in a place, with a cultural background. We learn what all these references mean. We situate ourselves. We relate to others from our predetermined, subjective, point of reference; the someone we’ve (been) identified as. As we go through life, this someones’ story becomes heavier and heavier with experiences and this someone’s actions, decisions, and reactions become defined by each other. The frame of reference becomes more defined but also more limited in possibilities. The person (soul) who limits themselves to their identity’s frame of reference, whatever format is used here (cars, jobs, family…), stops listening to their guidance. The truth is, the story we tell ourselves about who we are only matters to our “someones”. Who we are – souls – don’t care about stories or typical forms. Our souls don’t care about our family histories, our jobs, our salaries, the houses we live in or the car we drive. Our souls use these as means to an end. Our souls don’t even regard “reasonable possibilities”. We are so much more than the identities we assume and we tend to limit ourselves because that’s what we learn.

Unbecoming is actively shedding parts of our assumed identities that no longer work for us. (Have they ever, really?) It can be compared to someone’s sense of style; for most of us, it’s clearer through choices what suits us. We decide to eliminate, we actively choose to not participate in trends, we refine what feels right and looks good on us. (At least, that’s the hope!) And of course, some styles work for us at certain stages of our lives and not others… we try on personalities and lifestyles and work our way to what ultimately, is “really us”. I see the process of “unbecoming” like me refining my soul’s personal style by taking away the superfluous, the tacky, the ‘age-inappropriate’, the unflattering and the uncomfortable. In so doing, I’m allowing the classic pieces and the few daring ones that act as my secret weapons to nail the “style” that is just right.

Now, hold the phone, I haven’t mastered this skill yet. There are layers of this to be done, at least in my case!

To me, unbecoming means….

That I’ve declined the invitation to conform, to be nice, to keep my head down just for the sake of it.
That I’m bolder about my life choices.
That I’m more honest in my words and actions, and that I’m firmer in my boundaries.
That I say no a lot, but I also say yes to more of what I want or need.
That my heart feels lighter and lighter.
That my head feels clear.
That my body feels strong and healthy.
That my decisions are in line with my values.
That I’m facing my fears about being apologetically who I am.
That I’m facing my fears about being responsible for my life.
That I’m getting closer to my core.

It remains a process that looks a lot like cha-cha, but its by-product is a beautiful dance of mySelf.

Unbecoming might just become a key word for me in my spiritual practice. What can I shed today / this week / this month / this year? Is this choice honouring me, deep down? What does my gut say?

What does unbecoming mean to you? Do you feel like there are habits or beliefs you could shed to be happier and lead a harmonious life?

Tag: attitude (page 3 of 5)

Laughter as Medicine

Unbecoming

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