Tag: mindfulness (page 2 of 5)

Craft a Life of Projects

Have you ever thought about your life as linear or seen yourself as a passive actor in your own life? Have you ever wondered the meaning behind a dark time in your life?

These questions occurred to me and I found that looking at my life with the eyes of a creator, of a project person, made me feel more empowered. Whether you want to keep things interesting, you want to keep learning, or you want to create freedom, then I encourage you to craft a life of projects.

I work best with a project format. It helps me focus and be present and fully experience something, a time in my life or a specific event. I always have something going on that I manage at my own pace. I don’t have to commit to it for an indeterminate period. I am challenged, I learn and I accomplish. Then, I get to change it up. I get to move on or walk away when things do not serve or honour me. It’s a truly freeing and mindful way to approach my life.

Although I have habits and a semblance of a routine, I do not do well without change. I need it. I expect it. Most likely because it happens anyway. But I crave the kind of change that stimulates my spirit. That’s also why, for instance, my career history as a Gen Y contractor has worked to my advantage. I got to sample many jobs and experiences and know myself better.

In my twenties, I look back to many projects that highlighted lessons; my university degree versus learning, my communications career versus my calling, my relationships (some breakups, some amazing friendships, and mending family ties) and my (holistic) health.

University and journalism were my first introductions to the working world. I learned about fitting in and standing out, working hard and sometimes not getting rewarded or recognized. I learned about knowledge and wisdom, excitement and disappointment. I learned the difference between ability, experience and passion.

On a personal level, I’ve reconnected with inner longings, such as dance (vitality), reiki (service) and writing. For a while, I created the “swing dance” project in my life when I focused on learning partnership and competing. I also had my “health intervention” project; a time in my life when I was sick and burned out and decided to teach myself how to care for my health through yoga, food, rest and boundaries. Now, I’m working on my “setting sail for my purpose” project.  It’s a big scary adventure and I don’t know every wave, storm or shore, but it’s a journey I’m on. It started with this blog.

“I found that looking at my life with the eyes of a creator, of a project person, empowered me.” ― Bright Star Mercedes   brightstarwoman.com/blog

Our lives take different forms depending on our perspective.  There is a season for everything and a thing for every season. If we start appreciating where we are, which season we’re in, or the project we’re exploring if you will, then we can appreciate the true beauty of the life we’re living. If you see your life as the sum of all its incredible moments, its many seasons and its varied projects, you can appreciate change as much as being still. You start to understand each season’s purpose and you feel successful; this life is yours, every step of the way.

Seeing our lives as meaningful projects that teach us, that stimulate us, that we enjoy, helps us get in synch with nature’s cycles. We can co-create wonderful experiences and choose to learn valuable lessons by treating our lives as our unique work of art, composed of our many creative projects.

How have “projects” made your life more exciting or meaningful to you? Is there an unpleasant experience you could treat as a project to learn from?

Love Is A Verb: Loving, Love, Loved

I haven’t been in many long-term relationships. So I’m often curious about how successful couples manage to not only “make it work” but how they love and like each other after years of life’s waves crashing at their shores.

They fall in love with each other over and over. They choose to be together. They grow together. They love each other a day at a time. Who doesn’t want a love with lasting power? We may love the butterflies, but once it’s over, we want something to keep our hearts warm through the every day, with some romance here and there. It’s said that a huge part of the human experience is to share it with another.

How DO the long-lasting happy couples do it?

Love

It seems that the secret isn’t a secret at all. It’s in understanding the word… and I’m a trained linguistic, so here goes.

Love is a verb.

The Merriam-Webster defines a verb as:

grammar : a word (such as jump, think, happen, or exist ) that is usually one of the main parts of a sentence and that expresses an action, an occurrence, or a state of being

Because relationships involve at least two people (and that’s enough for me personally), the relationship is alive. Because relationships are alive, they evolve, grow and change. A relationship is an organism, a being and beings imply actions as much as states. In fact, states are often fleeting moments in between actions.

Love is an exchange, which you can see in friendships, in parent-child relationships, in romance. The exchange is an action, or rather a series of actions. Love, is inevitably, a series of actions made from a place of awareness and intention.

Love, whether romantic or otherwise, is absolutely an aspect of an intentional life.

love is a verb to be acted outLoving Relationships

Every day is a chance to start fresh. I often forget that I am powerful and that with each sunrise, I am renewed in my creative ability. There’s no way to know the future and all we have is now. So why not make the choice to love?

I’ve been in my relationship for over four years now and it’s the longest and most honest one I’ve been in. I’m free to be me and I learn how to love even the less likeable traits of another human being. It’s a challenge, and some days, as he puts it “we don’t like each other’s behaviour very much” but “we are committed and we love each other”. What he means is “I chose to be here and I choose it again.” It’s rewarding and I’m still standing by his side. There are certainly factors that influence my choice and I try to keep three things in mind when making my choice.

The 3 things that affect our choice to love: Presence, Change and Free Will

  1. Presence: It’s important to keep in mind that we’re in a relationship with the person in front of us today. We can talk about yesterday and tomorrow, but do we love who’s in front of us right now? Can we connect? Is the overall picture still of a healthy, fulfilling relationship? Is this person (and am I) acting out of love and if not, is that something I can help with? We need to bring awareness back to each other, to right now. What can we DO now to show this person we love them? Because the present is a gift, we must think in terms of gratitude and grateful people offer thanks. Why not an act of love?
  2. Change: The one constant in life is change. Living beings also grow and evolve. Actively rediscovering each other as we grow is a crucial part of the process of love. As people, we step forward, we fall back, we leap, we soar, we crash. Our process is messy. There are internal factors and then, there are external factors. Our interests vary, we learn new things, we integrate new lessons. We make new friends, we get new jobs. We undergo a plethora of temptations (from too much sugar to a spending free to wondering what life would be single). Sharing these experiences with your partner and making the relationship a spiritual practice of communication and participation will help grow together.
  3. Free Will: This part is implied in change. We’re in relationships with at least another person. The notion of “one” might be romantic, but it’s not practically true. We’re two parts of a greater whole, but those parts are people, with minds, hearts, souls and bodies over which only THEY have dominion. This is super hard to swallow for any Type A or codependent person (ahem, I know first-hand), but you CAN’T control the other person. Nor should you want to. Learning the balance between respecting yourself in your values and allowing your loved one space to BE is incredibly difficult when it doesn’t suit you (it sounds terrible, but that’s the human truth!). Letting go of control means we’re vulnerable, but it’s the only way to love someone completely for who they are. Express your needs, be respectful and let go!

Essentially, to build (and rebuild) loving relationships, to withstand the waves, we need to adapt. Our relationship is never the same. We then move past habits and beliefs that have become ingrained and no longer serve us. We need to bring our awareness back to the present and focus on loving actions to take. That’s how we show and feel the love we share. To be loved, we must first choose to love. We give before we receive, but we also need to know how to receive. That, in itself, is a bit of a challenge. But love helps us rise to the occasion.

We need to push ourselves (and each other) gently into conjugating love for our relationship(s), or we become complacent. Love is a verb. Take action!


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