Today, I was sitting in on a budgeting seminar and had a very exciting thought occur (no I haven’t finally lost my mind in order to love budgets). I realized that once I’d started letting go of some fears around money and started looking at my situation from a realistic, but heart-centered place, abundance had also started knocking on my door. Was I a better host?
So if I take a few steps back to explain what I was doing on a budgeting seminar, you’ll follow my process.
I’ve been carrying student debt since I’ve graduated from university (almost a decade ago). I thought I would have “so many years ahead of me” to get rid of this and that my bright future and promising career was going to provide me with enough of an income that thoughts of a cushion or a budget didn’t even properly occur to me. Then I was affected by the recession a few times. What? Me? Yes, me. My promising job laid me off as soon as I graduated. I thought that wouldn’t…couldn’t happen to me. Then in 2010 I was let go without cause. My thoughts then: “Universe, are you freakin’ kidding me?!?” I then accumulated some consumer debt.
Sure, I could get into why I think this happened to me (i.e. habits, beliefs, lack of experience), or rationalize it, or posit how I could have handled this differently but the point of this post is rather to state where I am now. I’ve carried debt. What a big taboo! It’s sad, because it can be avoided (and definitely corrected) but we shouldn’t be embarrassed to admit we do not know how to handle money if our society doesn’t encourage this type of education. It’s left to our parents, and often, our adult selves. I’m actually quite surprised how few men and women know how to budget, use credit cards and plan for their financial freedom.
In my life, it’s a reality I’ve had a hard time accepting. I’ve had to look at myself honestly. I’ve had to observe my behaviour without judgment. I’ve had to evaluate my priorities and make choices. I had to be honest with my partner. Most difficult of all, I had to admit my weaknesses and ask for help.
So…I created space for abundance to come in.
One of the solutions offered to me was to start getting familiar with some no-nonsense money and budgeting experts. Another solution offered was to do some belief work. I think I needed both, as I’m sure a lot of us do. I’ve been working on both solutions. You need to get the point of an exercise and where you’re starting from, before you can learn the technique. That’s how I understand it.
The first step with money, as with anything, is assessing where you are, and that’s where a budget (and tracking) becomes useful. And that’s where you came in on this post.
So here I was sitting on this budgeting workshop with YNAB, and as I’m plowing away at my own budget, they announce a winner of the software: Mercedes – That’s me!!! WHOA!!! That’s awesome.
As I thanked the organizers for the prize, it hit me: I won two prizes from draws in the space of one month. TWO PRIZES! I hadn’t won anything in contests or draws in YEARS. The other prize I won was a consultation with a coach. One could say my “luck” turned around. A wiser person would say my mindset changed.
What I took away from this was that not only was the Universe giving me exactly what I needed, I had effectively opened the door to variable forms of abundance by proactively asking for help. I’d opened the door to solutions coming in different forms; not just the ones I liked or expected. I had accepted my current situation as my starting point, instead of regretting, throwing a pity party or “should-ing” myself until I felt ill. None of these emotions or mindsets would help me anyway. I was ready, in this state of acceptance and humility, to take constructive action and receive abundance. I’m cleaning house for better guests, because I want to be a better host. I’ve received the form of abundance I needed, because I welcomed it when it knocked, albeit quietly, on my door.